Barnabas

VII. INTO THE LIGHT

This selection is written based on John 3:21 and Matthew 5, 6, and 7.

One day in September 1998, I sat at this same keyboard typing words and feeling very contrite and humbled by the experiences of the day. The day before, I was offered money to consolidate debts, after a long time of praying to be able to better manage my finances. The day I sat typing, two checks came in, just at the moment when I began to wonder if I was in fact being too generous and my giving exceeded my ability to do so. In November 1995, my best friend in the world got married to a man who I believe loves her and would do anything to get her and keep her his. I have kept that marriage in prayer, as I have not heard from either of them in a while. My brother in New Orleans is digging himself out of a slow business turn after Katrina and is finally doing better. My mom is suffering the effects of diabetes, has been through one open heart surgery, two cataract surgeries and a stomach surgery and soon to undergo a hand surgery. I from time to time since that day in 1998 underwent anxiety, “am I going to make it? What will I do with myself? How will my family survive?”. I have come to one conclusion that has taken me a while to understand. The Savior says, “Do not worry about what you’ll be eating or drinking or what clothes you will have on your back or where your bed will be or whether you can get by on a small pittance or if everyone is going to leave you. These are natural things to be concerned with, but don’t carry those burdens. Let me. Seek my Father’s kingdom first before you garner your reserves, before you start to share your grocery list with God and say ‘I need this, this, this, and that to survive’ Before your gifts to Him become ones with strings, before you start saying, ‘God, I’ll give you this this and this. Can’t you in return give me this this this and this?’ Don’t let your livelihoods be a sacrifice but be sacrificial in your whole life. God to Him first and tell Him that you cannot make it and that you need Him and place yourself in His arms, repeating, “Not my will, but Thine”. Remember His kingdom reigns eternal. Many have fallen before, but His Kingdom shall not perish.” I hear my Saviour and it makes me weep, because you see, what is all this about anyway? Is it about asking God for things, or do I truly want to serve the master and give the glory to Him and be truthful to Him? Where are my treasures, in credit cards? In paying my bills? In entertaining? Or are my treasures in my friends, in their smiles and laughter, or in touching someone’s life that have never been able to be reached before in a unique way, or sharing with everyone about what God has given me? Where are my treasures? I know where they ought to be. I know that Jesus is my Savior and my brother and that I have a family in God. I have a heavenly Father, and I have brothers and sisters in Christ, some who are touched by my life, some who touch my life, all who have left a fragrance of everlasting life on me. But what a person holds dear, that is where that person’s treasures are, and before we cam even serve an awesome God we must be willing to admit that our treasures are nothing compared to the glory of the Father.