Saturday, July 28, 2007

The Blues

Got the blues today? Get out and walk. Enjoy the atmosphere, especially if you live in a quiet tree-filled neighbor hood.

Remember where that came from and who created it. None of what you see sprouted from nothing and everything has a purpose.

Barnabas

VII. INTO THE LIGHT

This selection is written based on John 3:21 and Matthew 5, 6, and 7.

One day in September 1998, I sat at this same keyboard typing words and feeling very contrite and humbled by the experiences of the day. The day before, I was offered money to consolidate debts, after a long time of praying to be able to better manage my finances. The day I sat typing, two checks came in, just at the moment when I began to wonder if I was in fact being too generous and my giving exceeded my ability to do so. In November 1995, my best friend in the world got married to a man who I believe loves her and would do anything to get her and keep her his. I have kept that marriage in prayer, as I have not heard from either of them in a while. My brother in New Orleans is digging himself out of a slow business turn after Katrina and is finally doing better. My mom is suffering the effects of diabetes, has been through one open heart surgery, two cataract surgeries and a stomach surgery and soon to undergo a hand surgery. I from time to time since that day in 1998 underwent anxiety, “am I going to make it? What will I do with myself? How will my family survive?”. I have come to one conclusion that has taken me a while to understand. The Savior says, “Do not worry about what you’ll be eating or drinking or what clothes you will have on your back or where your bed will be or whether you can get by on a small pittance or if everyone is going to leave you. These are natural things to be concerned with, but don’t carry those burdens. Let me. Seek my Father’s kingdom first before you garner your reserves, before you start to share your grocery list with God and say ‘I need this, this, this, and that to survive’ Before your gifts to Him become ones with strings, before you start saying, ‘God, I’ll give you this this and this. Can’t you in return give me this this this and this?’ Don’t let your livelihoods be a sacrifice but be sacrificial in your whole life. God to Him first and tell Him that you cannot make it and that you need Him and place yourself in His arms, repeating, “Not my will, but Thine”. Remember His kingdom reigns eternal. Many have fallen before, but His Kingdom shall not perish.” I hear my Saviour and it makes me weep, because you see, what is all this about anyway? Is it about asking God for things, or do I truly want to serve the master and give the glory to Him and be truthful to Him? Where are my treasures, in credit cards? In paying my bills? In entertaining? Or are my treasures in my friends, in their smiles and laughter, or in touching someone’s life that have never been able to be reached before in a unique way, or sharing with everyone about what God has given me? Where are my treasures? I know where they ought to be. I know that Jesus is my Savior and my brother and that I have a family in God. I have a heavenly Father, and I have brothers and sisters in Christ, some who are touched by my life, some who touch my life, all who have left a fragrance of everlasting life on me. But what a person holds dear, that is where that person’s treasures are, and before we cam even serve an awesome God we must be willing to admit that our treasures are nothing compared to the glory of the Father.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Barnabas

VII. NEW BEGINNINGS

The text is taken from Philippians 4:13.

I for one was glad when 1994 came to a close. Bad year. One of the worst since I became a Christian. In February, my brother let me know he was HIV positive. He had been for many years but my suspicion is that he was told by his doctor to get his affairs in order. And so he was letting everyone know. In May I went home from my job in North Carolina to spend time with him and to be with him on his birthday, only to spend more time with my parents. Which was fun but not what I planned. Who would have guessed it would be the last time I saw my father alive? Who would have known that two months later, on a lazy Saturday morning for me, I’d get a phone call from my sister-in-law that went something like this, “I hate to be the one to tell you this but your daddy died this morning” and that was that. I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye to him. I couldn’t tell him once more, just once more how much I loved him. I would never have one of his daddy hugs or see the smile on his face when he saw his grandchildren. I am glad for the time we had together, and that he lasted 17 years with his heart by-pass, many, many years longer than the doctors said he would last. I am glad he saw me graduate from high school 4th in the class and college and then Veterinary School. I am glad for that. But mostly I am glad for the love he showed me always and how close we were.

But I am here to tell you, my daddy is not supposed to be dead. He is supposed to still be here, with his wife, and his children, and his grandchildren. He is supposed to be here so that if and when I get married he can give me away. He is supposed to be here so he could have celebrated his 50th wedding anniversary and now his 60th wedding anniversary with his wife. He is supposed to be here to see his grandchildren graduate from high school and college. It just isn’t fair. One of the constants in my life is no longer constant, that daddy would always be there to wipe my tears or to listen to me rant or to teach me how to write better. The one thing I always wanted is my daddy to always be in my physical presence, so I could share meals out with him, go dancing with him, go to movies and theater with him. But as of 1994, he’s gone.

My brother was infected with the HIV virus. Sure he led a promiscuous lifestyle and at one point was a drug user and certainly a binge alcoholic. But whatever sin he was in, he was still my brother and to watch him continue in his self-destructive ways as an alcoholic with HIV was enough to break my heart.

My mom was broken emotionally by daddy’s death, and also financially. There was simply nothing left when daddy died. There was property that should have been sold but instead was mortgaged to pay for hospital bills. And there were debts that no one knew about until after he died. In addition, mom had to deal with watching her son suffer from AIDS, finally dying in 1997. And she herself went through cancer surgery in 1996.

IT’S NOT FAIR!!!

It breaks my heart with everything my family has had to deal with the last decade and especially in 1994. I have had to go through this from far away, because of my work. It nevertheless hurts, and I feel like I am going through the motions, because every fiber wants me to fold up and die with that hole that is in my heart right now from my loss. If I do that though the devil has deceived me and duped me into thinking eternity doesn’t exist and God does not care, when I know He does, when, with all my heart, I want to shout, “The only reason I am alive today is because of Him!!!” I’ll admit I don’t agree with a lot of what God does, and I don’t always like going through deep, murky waters, and I definitely don’t like climbing every mountain just to understand Him, but I guess that is where faith and the greatest quality of all, love, comes in. If you truly love God, you’ll keep His commandments. If you keep His commandments and do what is right in His eyes and keep His decrees then He will look after you. Not to say you won’t have disease or hardship, but you won’t have the hopelessness that so often accompanies trials. Remember He is the God that heals (Exodus 15:26). Right now, at this writing, there are days where it seems as though I would love God to just to wisk me away, and take my broken heart and mend it or give me a nice warm hug. Folding up and dying, so to speak. Then there are days where everything is great and I know that my Redeemer lives and that God is my Rock and that there is none before Him. And I know that neither the valley nor the mountain in itself is particularly bad, because everything is useful to God. I sure feel as though I could do without those dark times. But it is because of that feeling I understand what Paul meant by the groaning that only the Holy Spirit understood. There are times I don’t know what to pray for me or my family. Do I pray for healing, pray for strength, or do I pray that this is a nightmare and will soon be over and everyone can wake up and we’ll all be happy.

Then I thank God, because without Him there is no heaven, and without Him there are no friends to give comfort and to love me the way my friends do. Without Him, pain will go on and on and on instead of slowly getting better. Without Him there are no promises of a better life and no salvation…

Thanks be to God for taking care of all of us…

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Barnabas

The text is taken from the Book of Job.

One day, long before creation, God was walking with Lucifer, before being banished from heaven The conversation varied in its aspects. They spoke of the mathematical set-up of the planets, so perfect for the existence of various minerals and chemicals and on the third one in the solar system where our sun was the planet was perfect for life. They spoke of the intricacies of veins in the tiniest plant and flowering greenery. They spoke of wind and rain and earthquakes and everything the God would use to shape and reshape life.

And Lucifer put this before God. “It is well and good that you can create flowers and planets and things incapable of independent thoughts or ideas and things which ultimately require care or death will ensue. But I’ll wager that you cannot create a being that is eternally loving, beautiful, wise, living in Your truth, and will always be thankful that You are who You are. It can never be done!”

Never say never to God.

God smiled and waved His hand. And there was a baby in a cave, nestled to his mother’s chest, a donkey and a cow breathing softly and providing some measure of heat. He waved His hand again, and there was a bearded young man on a mountain top, alone trailed only by Lucifer. The young man countered everything Lucifer was asking him, and said, “Man doesn’t live by bread alone but on every word of God…Don’t tempt God!”

God waved His hand again. On another mountain top, the same young man was speaking to others and specifically to twelve men that were sitting close by him. He said, “Blessed are the poor, blessed are the meek, blessed are those who hunger for righteousness, for God hears them all.” And that same man could be seen holding the hands of a child who was paralyzed and the man lifted up the child and the child walked for the first time in his young life. Finally, that same young man is seen on the cross, bleeding, dying, yet looking at those below with the calmest expression of love.

Lucifer prodded more, “That was no ordinary man. What of John or Jane Doe? I’ll bet you cannot create just an ordinary man with human feelings who would come to you. They’ll come to me when I offer them a few moments of pleasure, even if they may die the hard way.”

Didn’t I say never say never to God?

There is an alcoholic standing in a doorway. And he looks into the bottle he holds in his hand and throws it against a nearby wall. He sinks to his knees and holds his head in his hands and cries out, “Help me, I’m so weak…” And suddenly, as if someone heard him, there comes footsteps and there is a person that picks this man up and gives him food and shelter and finds him a job so that he can begin to help himself. And the man struggles to find his way, slipping several times, but he finally accepts that God came into his life and that is for him to change so that he can indeed have a better more spiritual life and live with God in heaven. And he comes to realize that he must choose between a life leading to death or a life with God. As if that is not enough, God’s tour de force. The executive with everything. Good salary, nice home, wonderful friends, loving family. Spends time with that family. Contributes to charitable causes. Tries to be a model citizen. Know the type? And with all this, the executive never gives glory to God. And when he is challenged at church to give time to deliver goods into the worst neighborhood and to feed people at the homeless shelter, his answer was, “I can’t.” But one day, he is robbed of his identity and loses most of what he has. After struggling to make ends meet and losing his house and his job and almost losing his family, the man raises his hands to God and says, “Help me, help me, I am truly weak…” And a voice out of the blue says, “Father forgive them for they know not what they do.” And the man’s family sticks with him, and he learns to give of himself. He even finds another job that will allow him to do more work with the church. And he gives the glory to God.

But Lucifer was not finished. He walked off, or from what I understand was thrown out because he refused to give glory to God. And then he tempted Eve. And God was ready. Because before man admitted he was a sinner and before man cried out, “Help me, We are so weak…” there appeared a cross and the voice that said softly, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do…”

Didn’t I tell you, Never say never to God?

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Barnabas

VII. STANDING UP

The text for this was taken from Ephesians 4:15.


How often when I see something wrong I want to correct it at the expense of someone’s feelings! How often do I forget that God, through Paul, said to live in peace (Romans 14:19) as much as possible! And how often, in trying to correct my habits, do I forget these words do not mean peace at any cost! While it is important to live in peace and to be considerate of others, I don’t think that God intended us to overlook or accept harmful behavior in the guise of exercising rights.

These days it is particularly hard for me to keep silent. After all, someone needs to stand up for what is true and right in this world. Think about it. First, we are told not to pray in public schools. Then we are told that women have the right to harm themselves by having abortions. The last straw? I may not be allowed to let my co-workers know about my Lord and Savior, which to me is as natural as talking about my mother, my friends, or my brothers. I won’t be able to share something that I would enjoy sharing. Instead I have to be subjected to people’s coarse joking and opinions, especially in political circles.

Or do I? Is this a situation where I should keep mum? My heart says no. My mind says no. And most important my God and Jesus say no. Not that I am going against the rules, because according to the First Amendment to the Constitution I have the right to free speech. And when that is infringed upon, do I get riled. While people can scorn my love for God and His Son, what right, according to my rights as an American from day one of this wonderful nation, does anybody have the right to tell me what to say and when to say it? Only God can do that and He only does that on few occasions. Not only because of the First Amendment, but also because I am free in Christ I have the right to speak up and stand up for Jesus. In fact that is a privilege that Christ has given me to do. That in fact was afforded to every human being, the ability and privilege to express oneself and to say what is on one’s mind without recourse. God in His infinite wisdom has provided a mechanism for this to occur without confusion. It’s called being meek and self-controlled. You know, Christ-like. There are those that would say that no one should protest abortions, that it indeed is a woman’s right. While I don’t agree with blocking doors or murdering those performing abortions, I do not believe that I should not be allowed to tell a woman that while it is her choice to have an abortion, she is still wrong. Just as it was wrong for Eve to take the apple from the Tree that God told her not to take from. She still had the choice to do that, but her choice was still wrong. That doesn’t mean Christ didn’t come for the woman that has an abortion, but how will women know it’s a wrong choice (Romans 10:14,15) until someone speaks out in love and meekness and says there is a better way?

Even worse, women don’t realize what a poor choice they are making. Neither does anyone else when they decide to sin. When someone has pre-marital sex or commits murder, sure, they have the right to do these things. But that doesn’t make their actions right. In fact those people that are claiming that they have the right to live their own lives as they see fit are the same that wouldn’t have stopped Neo-Nazis from marching in Skokie, Illinois, because the Neo-Nazis have the right to march even if it is causing emotional harm to the Jewish population. And who was that population of Jews hurting? No one. In fact they were Holocaust victims that just wanted to live in peace. Who is right in that situation? I know and God knows. But think about it, who else knows what the right thing to do is? And if we know the right thing to do, why do we choose the wrong thing and then do it. Are we so comfortable with our plasma TVs and DVDs that we just say, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, leave me alone”? Seems to me that we forget that over 230 years ago men were tired of someone telling them how to worship and how to lead their lives and so fought a war so that they could be free. We have the right to make a choice, whether it is wrong or right, true. But we also have the choice to speak out against wrong choices, and to stand up for Jesus. We have a right to confront those who are diametrically opposed to God’s way as outlined in the bible and we have the right to worship God’s way. And no one can tell us we cannot. Why? Not because we are made free by the Constitution. Someone came over 2000 years ago and made us free. We are freed by Christ to speak the truth in love, to walk as He walked, live as He lived, and to flee from what would be demonic spirits into the open arms of God.

May we always make that choice to stand on Holy Ground with God!