When I am out of synch (part 16)

When I forget God and lumber through life as though I had control, as though it is I who I am suppose to please, God and His people weep for me. (Jer 9:1; Jer 14:17). For they know there will be a wasteland in my life, eventually I will feel the holes. He urges me and pleads with me to take care of my soul toward the LORD. (Jer 51:50,51) There will always be valleys, but if I allow even sinful thoughts such as bitterness and resentment, tears flow from His eyes. (La 2:1)

 

And sin is not new. It has been in man since Adam first lied to God. It is in the first chapter of the book I follow when I decided to tear myself from the Father. It is my false religion, those ideas and memories I love so much and want to follow and believe in but can’t because ideas, thoughts and memories vanish like grass in a fire. Unless the wisdom comes from God and that can only be if I understand and follow and write on my heart His Word. It is a false religion that believes that if it’s constituents follow traditions and festivals that are but a shadow of what Jesus is then it will win others to the truth. Truth? What truth? How can I win someone to the truth when I am practicing a lie? It is a false religion that demands and cajoles me to give and give and give without even speaking to God, without daily prayer and supplication, it is a false religion that convinces me that I can give and then I have done my good deed for the day. It is that false religion that God hates, absolutely despises, and makes Him cry, because I am in fact only worshipping an image of God and not who God really is. The truth is, I don’t really know God. And I am sinning because He so desires, it is such a part of His will, and from the beginning was His decision not to force me to follow Him daily, only as sage advice from the Word made flesh that if…then statement of If you take up your cross and follow me…That is following the LORD, the Adonai, the El Shaddai, the leader, the Father. He puts His laws in front of me and the consequences and tells me to make up my mind. Much like the police, they don’t force me to follow the speed limits, but they give me a choice to follow the laws or accept the consequences. I must count the costs of sin. And it is when I decide that the high cost of sin doesn’t matter , that only my pleasure does then I have in my heart sinned, and it is a matter of time when I will carry out what my heart wants to do, uncontrollably, destructively, selfishly.

When I am out of synch (part 15)

Therefore there are two things that cause me to go out of synch. I have allowed myself to become blinded and I no longer fear and respect the LORD God or His power. On the other hand I can delude myself to believing that I can profess to have God in my heart and to really know Him. I can believe that He is in, and solely in, the letter of the law, and that if I take the law as His checklist then I can earn my way to a seat right by Him, and thinking I am not like the sinners, thank God, I am not like the lost, thank you Lord, and Lord look at me what I have done for you, and how much my worship just demonstrates how much I love you and how much I do for you in worship. Look at me. I can delude myself into thinking I’ve got it made because I can answer Jesus’ question about keeping the law that he put to the rich young ruler. Yet if I have not an attitude of love, compassion, humility and if I don’t understand that if it wasn’t for God’s grace and mercy I too would be desolate and indigent in both spirit and physical goods, what is my worship for? No, when I am out of synch I believe I can tell God what His worship needs is my input. To get myself back in order, I need to bring my worship to the level of sheer reverence for God, to seek His will and not mine. I used to belong to a wonderful congregation of servants. They worked at Crisis Assistance, they fed the homeless in numerous ways, they funded Haiti and the World Bible School and the list is endless of what they were doing to help spread God’s message and help the community. But they lacked one thing, who to worship on Sunday mornings? There was so much to do, they forgot their first love and that God demands our thoughts, our energy, our time. And while I am not their judge, for I do overdo and instead of putting God first, put Him on the back burner until I have time for Him, I nonetheless needed to find a congregation whose interest in works in the community were there but whose time spent with God was also important. As far as that goes, while Jesus was indeed a busy man, he nonetheless took time out to seek the face of God, to be in communication with the Father, in quietude, in solitude and with His brethren, always. Jesus did not move rapidly, but thoughtfully and with a purpose. And I too must do that always, or I will forever be in and out of synch. And there will come a time when God will send an evil spirit upon me, because that is what is left to get me to come to Him. All He wants is me.

When I am out of synch (part 14)

 

In the end of course Job confronts God and continues to ask Him why, why this happened to him, to his faithful servant, why did God forsake him. And God’s one answer and the answer He has always given to me when I ask why. “Then the Lord answered Job out of the whirlwind, and said: ‘Who is this that darkeneth counsel by words without knowledge? Gird up now thy loins like a man: for I will demand of thee, and answer thee me. Where was thou when I laid foundations of the earth? Declare, If thou has understanding. Who hath laid  the measures thereof, if thou knowest? Or who hath stretched the line upon it?’” (Job 38:1-3) It is the same message He gave to Moses when Moses said he was slow of tongue. And it is the same message He gives me when I say I cannot do a particular task that He asks me to do. God has a plan for me, and it takes faith for me to believe in Him as my deliverer through that plan, because it won’t be easy. And yet He tells me over and over He is with me. It is my smallness as a human that refuses to accept that His truth is the real truth. And it is the smallness of my humanness that doesn’t see that God cannot bless me without faith, because I don’t please Him otherwise. (Heb 11:6). So in my smallness, I convince myself that I am not seen by Him in what I do. (Ezek 33:17-20) and that God is lukewarm (Zep 1;12). But what I don’t realize is that the Lord will not be mocked. (Ezek 25:12,13; Dan 7:25; Dan 11:36-37) and that my own end is coming even if I don’t realize it. (Hosea 7:13). And He tells me when I take His name in vain, and when I am cruel or steal from Him (and there are many ways I can do that) I cannot hope to be blessed. (Zec 5:3,4) What good does it do me to do things my way, to steal from Him, and ultimately to run from Him. (Mal 3:13,14) I must believe that God has given me enough faith to get me through those dry times when I feel as though I cannot go on without water and enough faith to realize where the water comes from is truly Jesus and God. (Matt 13:31,32) I need to believe that the goodness in my heart comes from Him, and that in my own heart comes all sorts of evils. (Matt 15:19). And the ultimate blasphemy against God? When I blaspheme the Holy Spirit, the essence and core of God. (Mk 3:29,30) How do I do that? When I don’t take Him or His Spirit seriously, when I put words in His mouth, when I think that I can sin and God won’t care, finally when I lead others astray. I can repent from any of these. But I must truly repent. I must tell God I want to do things His way and I must then do those things His way. I must not believe that God is not around and so give Him up for pleasures. (Mark 7:21-23) Jesus says that I can say what I want to against him, after all he is human, but if I decide to truly blasphemy the Holy Spirit then I am doomed. If I decide that God is not powerful, that I can put words in His mouth and make His Spirit speak, when I stop taking Him seriously and thinking I can hide from Him, then I blaspheme the Spirit and I will not be blessed if I live my life like that. It is all in my attitude. If I live my life as though in my heart I have come to oppose and hate the Holy Spirit nothing can save me because I have in my heart denied the power of God to part the Red Sea, to fell the walls of Jericho, to bring manna in the wilderness, to keep and maintain the Jews while they rebuilt the temple under Nehemiah’s and Ezra’s leadership, to raise His only begotten Son. I may deny Jesus all I want to, that is what Jesus tells me. (Luke 12:10) But I cannot deny God’s power and say that Jesus lies because he says he is the Son of God. (John 18:7) not without calling God a liar. I cannot because I become a hypocrite and a fool every time I sit in the pew. (Rom 2:24) Either I believe in Him or I don’t. There is no in between. And while my worship may appear godly, if someone looks to the surface it is not. I have to come to grips with whether or not I am going to call on Jesus’ name and believe and stretch those spiritual muscles that God equipped me with or not. (1 Cor 12:3) I must take on His life through His Son, or that too is a denial of the Spirit. (Col 3:8) I cannot live and breathe one way and worship another way. I cannot live following the one that exalts himself above God and expect God to say, “It’s OK.” (2 Thes 2:4). I cannot live my life in sin and expect God to say I get a one-way ticket to His house. (2 Tim 3:2) If it didn’t work for the Jews, then how can I think it could work for me? (Heb 10:27) Not only that, but if I go to worship and tell God how much I love Him and praise Him and want to serve Him, what happens when I deny a poor person food, or someone in need of shelter a place to sleep? (James 2:7) It’s pure hypocrisy for me to hold on to what I’ve got all the while telling God He is the one in control of my life. (James 3:10) And if I think that I can hide from God or His Son is not coming back or that He is not listening, all I need to do is to read 2 Peter 3:3-4, which says, “Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers walking after their own lusts, and saying, ‘Where is the promise of his coming? For since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning.’” I have to hold on to his words that he is coming back and that he will take me up to meet God finally and at last. I don’t know when, how, or where. Only God knows when my time is done. I cannot have the attitude of the beast in Rev 13:1-6 and expect to see God in a happy mood. It won’t happen. I must not be like those who refused to praise him in Rev 16:9,11,21, nor have the love of idolatry in Rev 17:3. If I have these attitudes and am mad at God and then turn my heart around, will it matter to God? Of course it will. God will take me and remold me and forgive me to become His daughter. I have seen it happen in a dear friend of mine. She abandoned God for 3 months because she got tired of serving Him, found Him to be a farce, didn’t love Him anymore and then her life turned around by seeing another friend die. She was restored, I believe that with all my heart, and I believe that God restored her. It was a powerful example to me to stick with the Creator, but also of His great tenderness and mercy. It also speaks to me of the necessity of my obedience. Think of Number 21:5,6. God had very little mercy on such an ungrateful people. In fact serpents bit them in the midst of their grumblings and the population was reduced. Also look at those who worshipped at the Asherah poles and when Hezekiah took them down how they grumbled, listening to false teachers. (2 Kings 18:22) My attitude needs to be like Job when his wife told him to “curse God and die” (Job 2:9) refused to put the blame on the Creator. And then I think back to Peter who denied the Lord three times, even cursing in the process. (Matt 26:74; Mk 14:71). And yet God and Jesus had mercy on Him, because of his penitent heart. Paul was forgiven of His blasphemy against God. (Acts 26:11) But I am warned, warned of not following deceivers and making up my own mind what is right, told that I am equipped with the best tool in order to do so. (2 Thes 2:3,4; Rev 2:9) Even if there are those who will stone me (1 Kings 21:13), falsely accuse me (Matt 26:65), mock and twist my words (Mk 14:58; Lk 22:70,71; John 19:7) my faith that ultimately comes from God must be strong because it is He who can take my soul from me and leave me as Saul in 1 Samuel 19:9, when not the Spirit of the Lord but an evil spirit descended upon him. God doesn’t guarantee that when I express my love for Jesus I will be accepted, even by my own people (Lk 5:21).

When I am out of synch (part 13)

Sometimes being out of synch doesn’t necessarily imply blasphemy. Job is a wonderful example of this. Here was a man who had done nothing wrong, had lived his life in God’s favor, according to the will of God, raised seven children and a wife and was a good steward with his assets. And then for whatever reason, boom! Things turned sour. His children died, he lost his money, he had boils on his skin and was reduced to sackcloth and ashes and to saying, “The Lord gave and the Lord taketh away” (Job 1:21-22). He says in Job 16:9,11,14, “He teareth me in his wrath, who hateth me; he gnasheth upon me with his teeth; mine enemy sharpeneth his eyes upon me. God hath delivered me unto the ungodly and turned me over unto the hands of the wicked. He breaketh me with breach upon breach, He runneth upon me like a giant”. And again in Job 19:6,7,21,22, Job says, “Know now that God hath overthrown me, and hath compassed me with his net. Behold, I cry out of wrong, but I am not heard: I cry aloud, but there is no judgment. Have pity upon me, have pity upon me, O, ye, my friends, for the hand of God hath touched me. Why do you persecute me as God, and are not satisfied with my flesh?” Job feels the persecution, evidently and clearly. Job is wounded to the depths of his soul and while he doesn’t know where this is coming from, and why God would let that happen to him at this point he is willing to just accept that God is God. Even though he questions and does ask why, he has enough faith to accept God as God. While he is trying to figure things out, he is taking a giant leap of faith. At the same time, he is angry, justifiably so, with his friends who assume he has done the worst sort of sin and do not accept him for just having something happen to him. He even explains to them that he is not like others who tell God they have what they need and choose not to follow Him. (Job 21:13,14) The one friend of Job that makes any sense is the youngest of the young, and his advice is given in Job 22:12-14,17: “Is not God in the height of heaven? And behold the height of the stars, how high they are! And thou sayest, ‘How does God know? Can He judge through a dark cloud?’ Thick clouds are a covering to Him, that He seeth not, and He walketh in the area of heaven. Which said unto God, “Depart from us.” What can the Almighty do for them?” It is an answer without answering. It is of the type of “I don’t know, but don’t give up hope just yet.” It is a call for patience. And it ultimately fails. Because Job is once and for all alone, as I am when I suffer grief. None can know the pain I felt when my father died although that was expected and when my brother died although that was just a matter of time as well. Many have experienced death and separation, but each feels it in his own way. And loss, whether it is personal, financial, work, or whatever loss there is truly causes me to wonder if God took a nap while all this was going on. Because I only have a quantum amount of faith and no more. And I finally say with Job, “Thou art become cruel to me, with thy strong hand thou opposeth thyself against me. Behold He findeth occasions  against me, He counteth me for his enemies. He puteth my feet in the stocks,  He marketh all my paths.” (Job 30:21; Job 33:10,11)  And yet I vacillate, because I then say, as did Job’s friend did in Job 34:5,6,9,16-19,37, “For Job hath said, ‘I am righteous: and God hath taken away my judgment. Should I lie against my right? My wound is incurable without transgression. For He hath said, “It profiteth a man that he should delight himself with God”. If now thou hast understanding, hear this: hearken to the voice of my words. Shall even he that hateth my right govern? And wilt thou condemn him that is most just? Is it fit to say to a king, “Thou art wicked”? And to a prince, “You are ungodly”? How much less to him that accepteth not the person of princes, nor regardeth the rich more than the poor? For they all are the work of his hands. For he addeth rebellion unto his sin, he clappeth his hands amoung us, and multiplieth his words against God.” Job’s friend knows that if he decides to blaspheme God, there is no hope, there can be no peace and no order in his life. He knows Job cannot go against God.  And Job agrees somewhat sardonically, as I do, in Job 37:20, meanwhile still asking why, almost whining to God. And God then speaks for several chapters thereafter and basically tells Job who is he to ask, who is he to question the wisdom of God, who is he not to maintain his faith, or to say that he cannot, or to say that he is not strong enough, when God tells him he is, when it is God that made him.

 

When I am out of synch (part 12)

Always the one in control. Always the One Who blesses. But I cannot take His name in vain and be in synch with Him (Exodus 20:2; Leviticus 19:12; Leviticus 22:32; Deuteronomy 5:11). I cannot say that I truly worship Him when I decide to do things my way, to put my slant on the bible, to cut the things out of the bible that make me hurt, to emphasize that which would not hurt at the very least and would allow me to fulfill my need for expression at its very best. On the other hand I cannot truly say that God is totally in this for the discipline He can render on me. I cannot hit my self over the head with a board or wear sack cloth and ashes because of my lot in life. The humility expressed in the book of Job is so dear and so ancient, that I come to see that it is only realizing that whether I am rich or have all that taken from me God is God and I don’t know His ways. (Job 9:16,17,34,35; Job 13:7-9,25-27; Job 15:13,25,26) When I act as though how I worship is dependant upon that service doing something for me, that service thrilling me, when I act and look to worship to see what I can get out of it, I am struck with “me”-itis, and express that selfishness in it’s most vainest and vilest of terms. I am to the point that I have chosen not to serve God with the purest of intentions but to serve God so that He may serve me. (2 Samuel 12:14; 2 Kings 19:22; 2 Chronicles 32:19). I have in effect gone against God.