When I sin, not only do I make Him cry, but I anger Him.
When I lie through my sacrifice, and make it false, I upset Him. (Is 43:20-28),
because all things respect and obey God – ox, beasts of the fields, owls,
flowers, they all know their creator, which is probably why I have to tame
them, because why should they follow me who couldn’t even make the chemical
compounds in the proper proportion to make these things the way they are. And
when and only when I see I have hurt Him and that He is truly angry at me, then
I have to beg for mercy, come into His throne room embarrassed by the tatters I
have made of my clothes I call my life and then ask with my heart and humbly
bow before Him, not trying to appease Him, but truly understanding that His way
was best from the time I decided it wasn’t until forever. I fall on my knees in
front of Him and remember His son hanging up on the tree knowing I would sin
and sin again and I read in Ps 80:1-19: “Give ear, O Shepherd of Isreal, thou
that leadest Joseph like a flock; thou that dwellest between the cherubims,
shine forth. Before Ephraim and Benjamin and Manasseh stir up thy strength, and
come and save us. Turn us again, O God, and cause thy face to shine; and we
shall be saved. O LORD, God of hosts, how long wilt thou be angry against the prayer
of thy people? Thou feedest them with the bread of tears, and givest them tears
to drink in great measure. Thou makest us a strife unto our neighbors: and our
enemies laugh among themselves. Turn us again, O God of hosts, and cause thy
face to shine; and we shall be saved. Thou hast brought a vine out of Egypt;
thou hast cast out the heathen. And planted it. Thou hast preparedst room
before it, and didst cause it to take deep root and it filled the land. The
hills were covered with the shadow of it, and the boughs thereof were like
godly cedars, She sent out her boughs unto the sea, and her branches unto the
river. Why hast thou then broken down her hedges, so that all they which pass
by the way do pluck her? The boar out of the wood doth waste it, and the wild
beast of the field doth devour it. Return, we beseech thee, O God of hosts:
look down from heaven, and behold and visit this vine; and the vineyard which
thy right hand hath planted, and the branch that though madest strong for
thyself. It is burned with fire, it is cut down; they perish at the rebuke of
thy countenance; Let thy hand be upon the man of thy right hand, upon the son
of man whom thou madest strong for thyself. So will not we go back from thee;
quicken us, and we will call upon thy name. Turn us again, O LORD God of hosts,
cause thy face to shine and we shall be saved.” David cries for Jesus to come,
cries that he needs strength and example, discipline from which the word
disciple comes. He needs not just laws, he knows he cannot keep the laws
entirely, but he needs to see the Word made flesh. O God, how do you want me to
walk, he cries. And that is my cry too. Only when I am studying and taking to
heart God’s word and applying it using the power of God’s spirit that is within
me am I following Christ’s example. Is this right or wrong? Well, not that
right and wrong disappear when Christ is here, but it becomes more of a concern
with doing God’s will. In His perfect will, there is only right. As the people of Israel did in Jeremiah 2:5-37, I
have chosen to hurt God, unknowingly perhaps but I’ve done it. Because I turned
against Him and then I filled what He created with my own substances, and with
what pleases me. I have to fill the holes in my life with something, you see,
something other than the living spring spoken of in John 4 by Jesus with the
Samaritan woman. I cannot see that living spring, cannot touch or feel him, but
I can with the indiscriminate pleasures that are in the world waiting for me to
take advantage. After a while, I am desolate, that too is God’s design because
He is giving me what I have chosen to have and I will mark my character, my
wants, my desires, by my actions which only lead me to wear fig leaves, as Adam
and Eve did, in my vain attempt to hide from Him. I do not understand Him and
so I fall even deeper into desires to fill empty spaces and holes in my life
with things I think make me feel that much better. In doing this God has
allowed me to see that whatever I do has consequences and a place in the
future, and I will reap what I sow. (Gal 6; Jer 3:1-25; Jer 8:5-21) I am a
whore because I don’t want to be married to only God. I want to be an infidel
because it is more fun on the surface, and carries more gratification. But He
will call me and others and He wants the best part of me. He will, there is no
doubt or question, collect up the remnant of what is in me after that which
sins is cut away as He tells me I must do, as He will with everyone and our
place will be a new Jerusalem, better than that which is on earth, with streets
of gold and all in harmony with one another and all in peace.
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