God makes my voice heard,
when otherwise I would be prattle. God gives me joy when I am confronted by
pictures of starving children, or hear that a dear relative has fallen victim
to cancer. God is the author of this. (Is 38:14-19) And I pray that when I sin,
for I will sin being human, that God is not so mad at me that all is lost. All
I have loved is gone. My father, my brother perished years ago. But God goes on
forever, and He makes the nights seem more comforting and the days more
exuberant than I can even imagine. (Is 64:9-12) And then God has taken His
infinite mercy and compassion and has turned from me because that is how I
treated Him for so long. (Jer 14:19-21) And He only gives me at times that
which I think I need but in fact is that which I want. I don’t want to obey
Him, I want to fullfill my lusts, like Isreal wanted a king, when God and only
God is king. (Jeremiah 32:16-32) And because I am greedy and don’t want to care
for those around me. (Lamenations 5:19-22)
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