When I am out of synch (part 15)

God knows when I am gone far or even just a little away from His heart. He warns me that I am at that juncture torn from Him (like the cloth on a Jewish Rabbi's clothing) (1Kings 11:8). He tells me in Isaiah 38:17 that I like Isreal have cast Him away from me, that even though He proclaims His love for me, I have chosen not to return it. And that happens whether I am directly in the darkness of sin or feeling my self-righteous oats on those who are struggling with whatever sins they have. (1 Cor 4:21) And in His mercy He warns me that I have left Him, my first love, and that in His eyes is wrong. (Rev 2:4) And what I do is to repay Him with thinking and saying he doesn't really love me, as Samson's wife scolded Samson in Judges 14:16. And then I love the wrong people. (2 Samuel 19:6, Psalm 52:3) And He knows I will run after the wrong things. (Hosea 2:7)

When I am out of Synch (part 14)

• But it is not just when I sin that I am humiliated, but when I am actually doing the right thing for the wrong reason. Which some may say that this is still sinning, even though it's not overtly so. So many times I go through the motions of church, of hugs to my brethren, of doing my job, but then in traffic I am rude, my attitude is a turned-on-turned-off attitude and I do the multiple personality number that I so very often accuse my mother of doing. And the problem with that is, mom doesn't really know any better and I do. When I do what I know in my deepest soul that I shouldn't do but am just going through the motions and become hypocritical, I have lost my first love. (Rev 2:21) I see the Pharisees and how Jesus told them they were doing the right things for the wrong reasons, for example in Luke 11:42. And in that statement I see me being called out by Jesus as being the same way. Hypocritical, judgmental, and self-seeking, I see Jesus saying “ButI know you and the love of God, that you have not the love of God in you” (John 5:2). Again hypocrisy in my life. And it makes me finally fall on my knees head bowed so that the love of God will endow me with His Spirit once again. Because it is at that moment I realize I have lost my first love. And I want it back.

When I am out of synch (part 13)

Ah I do love God, and the lessons he brings and the heart He has for all of us. When I am aching and humbled from sinning and being humiliated in that sin, and decide that God is truly the wisest being anywhere, I love Him so much because He gives me chances, such as in 1 John 2:15, God through John telling me not to be so caught up in the spectacle of human existence nor wealth nor power or else God's love cannot be in us. I have filled my heart with the love of things and not the love of God. And I praise Him He gives me the opportunity to make that choice. And to make repentance from that choice and accept the consequences.

When I am out of Synch (part 12)

When I become entrenched in money woes which is easy to do in our present economy, I am divided in faith as Paul speaks of in 1 Timothy 6:10,11.. I have essentially chosen to love something above God. And once again my choices are not fruitful nor are they spiritually based. And I learn what fear is, separation from God. I find I have to reign myself in, look to Jesus and pray. Because as Paul again writes to Timothy, fear was not given to us by God, but a sound mind, power, and love are. (2 Timothy 1:7)

When I am out of synch (part 11)

I am amazed how there are times in my life even now that I limit my love. Not just in the community but in the church as well. And when that happens, when I limit who I love, instead of shining God's love to everyone, God is extremely displeased with me.And I am living a falsehood rather than loving His truth. (2 Thessalonians 2:10) Rather than living in His grace, that His love would abound I choose to love the way I want to love. (1 Tim 1:14). So many people in the world are like that, so many people who have been hurt, who don't know where to turn, choose the easiest way to shut out loving everyone and just cafeteria-style pick who they want to love. This is not God's way. This is the way of the world. But His church is told to live differently. Father forgive me for I know not what I do!!!!When