When I am out of Synch (part 14)

• But it is not just when I sin that I am humiliated, but when I am actually doing the right thing for the wrong reason. Which some may say that this is still sinning, even though it's not overtly so. So many times I go through the motions of church, of hugs to my brethren, of doing my job, but then in traffic I am rude, my attitude is a turned-on-turned-off attitude and I do the multiple personality number that I so very often accuse my mother of doing. And the problem with that is, mom doesn't really know any better and I do. When I do what I know in my deepest soul that I shouldn't do but am just going through the motions and become hypocritical, I have lost my first love. (Rev 2:21) I see the Pharisees and how Jesus told them they were doing the right things for the wrong reasons, for example in Luke 11:42. And in that statement I see me being called out by Jesus as being the same way. Hypocritical, judgmental, and self-seeking, I see Jesus saying “ButI know you and the love of God, that you have not the love of God in you” (John 5:2). Again hypocrisy in my life. And it makes me finally fall on my knees head bowed so that the love of God will endow me with His Spirit once again. Because it is at that moment I realize I have lost my first love. And I want it back.